Carpe Via

Well here we are, the last day of November and the last day of nablopomo. What I’ve loved the most is reading Ambers daily thoughts -the ups and downs of her family life in the Blue Mountains. (Why oh why can’t all my friends have blogs? )

I usually wait til after I’ve posted before I let myself read her blog for the evening. But tonight I cheated. So I’m also going to copy her format for the day.

Some unusual things about today:

1. I’ve just finished A Suitable Boy. It’s been at least 6 months, maybe a year since I started. I’ll miss my nightly friends. I finally have time though to dig into The Omnivore’s Dilemma which Ramona sent me way back in August.

1. We had our Xmas party for our writing group this morning. We all decided to step it up a bit next year and really focus on finishing something. I’m looking forward to Xmas break to have a bit of time for that. I have a short story I’m excited to rewrite.

1. I made eggplant for dinner.

1. Instead of lying and saying, ‘no, Mrs. Young isn’t home’ when the telemarketer called today, I said instead , “I’m sorry, I don’t respond to sales over the phone.” I felt better about it but the guy on the other end kept trying anyway (“No, no, we just want to save you money.”) Poor guy.

Ok, going to bed now. I have a presentation tomorrow and an early morning coffee meeting. And tomorrow night we’re having a few people over to unveil the new couch.

Hoinky poinky. (don’t know what that means, but felt we needed a bit of it there)

Only a few more days left in this blog-a-day thing. Wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be. For me at least.

I’m also at a nice moment in the middle of this crazy period where I’m all caught up. Right on schedule. Exactly where I’m supposed to be.

Actually had a few hours free this afternoon and was tempted to buckle down and Get Ahead. But I had a cup of tea instead. And opened a package from Robbie! She sent me peanut butter cups and a picture of our day in SF this September. It was such a treat. Made me wonder why I don’t send more things through the mail. My grandma used to be so good at that. She once sent me a whole cake to me for my birthday, with a little packet of frosting to apply when it arrived. It was angel food so it didn’t fall apart in the post.

I was even inspired, with all my free time, to make dinner. A kind of stir-fry with a packet of spices I bought last time at the store. It was awful. So I added yoghurt. Not much better. So I got some hummus from the corner market and that masked it enough so that it was edible.

Poor Charles. He really missed out on the whole wife thing. Most other times and places in history and he’d at least get a good meal out of the deal.

I woke up bright and early this morning. Wide awake at 5am.

Not sure if was due to this deadline I have for this report. Quiet currents of stress coursing through my dreams. So I got up and ran.

Had a pitch with an agency where the client didn’t let us prepare anything ahead of time. Just showed up to ask questions. Had us all sit on one side of the table facing them. Could have been nerve wracking but we did well I think. Not sure why people insist on being formal. It used to signal a sense of constraint, I suppose. A quiet dignity. Now it seems as likely to mask judgment and fear.

It’s a great little agency I was working with -they have lunch together everyday, cooked fresh in their kitchen. A nice balance of professional and casual.

It’s getting late now and I’m trying to finish up this report for tomorrow. Charles is off with an old friend of his -they go see crappy sci fi movies together. I wonder which one they saw.

I had every intention of eating well tonight but here I am munching on the pb&j sandwich and oj I made earlier this morning. Not too bad I suppose.

So I’ve had General Public in my head all day. That catchy 80s hit.

A productive morning writing up a report. And a horrible phone call with new clients. I had a scratchy throat and stumbled over words. Just out of the blue. Haven’t done that in years now. But there it was. Maybe because I didn’t have faces to respond to, I felt self conscious as if talking to a mirror or camera with someone looking on. Working very hard not to hate myself for being such a putz. Maybe that’s where the tenderness applies.

I was also quite weepy again this afternoon. No reason really. Just sad. Things like this make me bawl:

And then I’m normal again. Driving through town, having meetings with other clients. A good hair day. On top of the world.

So which am I? All of them I suppose.

And that person asleep right now in the park across the street? Who is that? And why is it so hard to walk across the grass to ask if they’d like something to eat?

Transformation. I always think of it as the strongest card of the deck.

I’m usually delighted to get it because I love change. Today’s change was an attack of the house. A cleaning frenzy of the bathroom and fridge, as well as a rearrangement of my jewellery and bookshelf. Ah. Feels good.

Didn’t quite get to the clothes but they’re quivering in a pile on the chair, knowing they’re next.

In my piles of things, I found these:

Funny to think these were useful only a few years ago.

I also had a market research interview in the suburbs this early evening. When I drove up, the house was a bit ram-shackled so I sent a quick text to Charles to let him know the address in case it was a crack house. I did have a quick thought that maybe Transformation was about death again (like the one I drew walking out the door for my flight to the U.S. this July). I had been a bit weepy this afternoon anyway (despite the agro cleaning) so by that point I felt pretty calm about the idea. Charles, however, freaked out a bit. He organized to call me 10 minutes into the interview. When I approached the door, a woman came out to prune the hedge and she called into the guy inside who came out of the kitchen with a dish towel and a big grin. Not a crack house, but rather that other quintessential archetype: the remodel. They were lovely and I felt a bit sheepish when Charles called in. Maybe that’s how it feels to receive the ‘emergency’ call from a friend during your blind date.

When I got back we had dinner and just got back from a short walk around the park. They are tearing down the little narrow walk bridge tomorrow and will be replacing it with a much wider, shinier version. So we paused a moment in the dark, in the middle of the little bridge and said goodbye.

Maybe some changes aren’t so delightful.